My 2009 Story
This year will soon end as we prepare to welcome 2010 in just a few days.
This may have not came across for those who knew me but 2009 has been a really challenging year. God has given me a lot of things which I was not prepared to take on.
One was my first year in College, which was a huge step from Christian-based homeschooling. In 2008, everywhere I go...there will be a bible verse running through my head. Whereas in college (2009), everywhere I go, I will hear random cussing all over the place, the constant smell of alcohol and cigarettes from college friends, and many backslid-en Christians. Sad to say, this has infected my life as well.
I've gotten really impatient with people, I would cuss in my thoughts and have in general backslid-ed from my faith. Church became a nuisance as people constantly demand my appearance and weekly acts of service through drumming(as usual since 2008). Making sacrifices causing nothing more than the imminent time in which I began separating from the Church and eventually the Lord Almighty Himself.
Two, I believe I have a little of Eremophobia (fear of loneliness). I guess either it is a hormonal thing, or it could be my immaturity, or the constant need to be around with an attractive person of the opposite sex (emotionally needy x100), or all of the above. Whichever it may be, I have never felt so lonely in my entire life even though I can drive and go be around with anyone, anytime, anyplace. It is really unpleasant to have this sort of feeling and puts the "emo-ness" factor in place.
Three, I have become really short tempered and even more sarcastic with what I say or do. So much so that everything seems like a big, fat, disappointment in my life. It is similar to a very cruel joke turned reality.
Nevertheless, this is life. Life is not fair, it is never fair. That is the beauty of grace. Despite such horrible moments, no one knew my struggle or really lend a hand but God. Sure enough, He came upon me and showed me the way. When I was happy, He was there to celebrate with me. When I was sad, He was there to comfort me... not my family, not my friends but God. After much thought, God had shown me something that changed my life.
I cannot let the world influence me but instead I should influence the world! By starting small, I started a Christian Fellowship group for my college. It wasn't easy but God never fails to show up. God was and will always be amazing in my life. He planned out the road for me and all I have to do is follow it.
It is only a few months ago when I realized as to how blessed I am being by myself (single). Also as to how God still performs miracles to this day, even in my life. My greatest miracle this year was passing my finals for this year and will still be maintaining my scholarship.
Maintaining my scholarship means my results for each semester should be maintained at distinction average (70%). Sure enough, my results for the final semester of this year came out and all my subjects added up to a 70% average! No more, no less... I was very confident that I was going to lose my scholarship because one of my subjects was a guaranteed fail! But God never failed to answer prayers, I passed the subjects at 51%, 2% less and I would of failed. My greatest Christmas gift ever, passing that subject and still maintaining my scholarship!
So how shall I conclude this year? I wouldn't say it is superb, neither would I say it is bad. But challenging, in a good way. With all the ups and downs, I shall on a happy note. My God really exist and has given me more than what I've asked for. My Jesus is an awesome God, I love my God, my family, my friends, and of course, I love my life. I cannot wait to see what He has in store for me in 2010! Hopefully He'll bless me with a partner of the opposite gender of my age to help me grow spiritually strong, socially well, mentally clean, and emotionally happy. *Not to be specific, hinting towards God.* (laughs)
Merry belated Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!
God bless.
Signing out,
Raymond Goh
_________________________________________
This is about 70 to 80% true about how I feel in college.
Relient K rocks!!!
This year will soon end as we prepare to welcome 2010 in just a few days.
This may have not came across for those who knew me but 2009 has been a really challenging year. God has given me a lot of things which I was not prepared to take on.
One was my first year in College, which was a huge step from Christian-based homeschooling. In 2008, everywhere I go...there will be a bible verse running through my head. Whereas in college (2009), everywhere I go, I will hear random cussing all over the place, the constant smell of alcohol and cigarettes from college friends, and many backslid-en Christians. Sad to say, this has infected my life as well.
I've gotten really impatient with people, I would cuss in my thoughts and have in general backslid-ed from my faith. Church became a nuisance as people constantly demand my appearance and weekly acts of service through drumming(as usual since 2008). Making sacrifices causing nothing more than the imminent time in which I began separating from the Church and eventually the Lord Almighty Himself.
Two, I believe I have a little of Eremophobia (fear of loneliness). I guess either it is a hormonal thing, or it could be my immaturity, or the constant need to be around with an attractive person of the opposite sex (emotionally needy x100), or all of the above. Whichever it may be, I have never felt so lonely in my entire life even though I can drive and go be around with anyone, anytime, anyplace. It is really unpleasant to have this sort of feeling and puts the "emo-ness" factor in place.
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